As parents, our words and actions have a profound impact on our children’s emotional and overall well-being. Peaceful parenting is about nurturing a positive connection with our little ones, fostering mutual respect, and teaching valuable life skills. By eliminating yelling from our parenting toolbox, we create a safe and loving space where our children can thrive, grow, and develop a healthy self-esteem.
Yelling does improve temporary relief in moments of frustration, but it comes at a cost. Research shows that frequent yelling can lead to long-term negative consequences for children, including increased anxiety, lower self-esteem, and impaired emotional regulation. Let us make an intentional choice to break the cycle and choose healthier alternatives.
Participating in a 30-day no yelling challenge could be a wonderful way to create a more peaceful and positive environment for both you and your children.
Here are some tips to help you yell less:
- Set clear intentions: Clearly define your goal and the reasons why. Understanding the benefits and the impact it can have on your family will help keep you motivated.
- Establish alternative communication strategies: Yelling often happens when emotions are high and communication breaks down. Explore alternative ways to express your frustrations or concerns, such as taking deep breaths, using a calm and firm tone, or using “I” statements to express your feelings.
- Practice active listening: Make an effort to truly listen to your children and acknowledge their feelings and perspectives. This can help defuse conflicts and promote understanding.
- Model positive behavior: Remember that your children learn from your actions. By modeling calm and respectful behavior, you’re teaching them valuable lessons in communication and emotional regulation.
- Identify triggers: Take note of the situations or circumstances that tend to trigger your yelling. By identifying these triggers, you can develop strategies to manage your emotions and respond more calmly.
- Take regular breaks: Parenting can be stressful, and it’s important to take care of yourself. Take breaks when you feel overwhelmed or on the verge of yelling. Step away from the situation for a few minutes to calm down and gather your thoughts.
- Seek support: Talk to your partner, friends, or other parents who are participating in the challenge or have similar goals. Sharing your experiences and seeking support can make the journey easier. Or book a session here. Use code “LAUNCH” for a discount
- Be patient and forgiving: Changing ingrained habits takes time and effort. There may be times when you slip up and raise your voice. Instead of beating yourself up, acknowledge your mistake, apologize if necessary, and recommit to the challenge.
- Celebrate successes: Recognize and celebrate your achievements along the way. Each day without yelling is a step forward, so acknowledge your progress and the positive changes you see in your family dynamics.
- Reflect on the experience: Take some time to reflect on what you’ve learned and the positive impact it has had on your family. Consider incorporating the strategies and techniques you’ve developed into your everyday parenting style.
Are you ready to take the first step towards a more peaceful household?
Join The FREE 30-Day No Yelling Challenge
This is a commitment to refrain from yelling for an entire month. It’s a personal journey of self-discovery, growth, and transformation. By replacing yelling with patience, active listening, and positive reinforcement, you’ll build stronger connections with your children and create an environment where everyone feels heard and understood. You can do this anytime by yourself or join our community so we do it together.
- Download your challenge sheet below and follow us on instagram to get daily tips to keep you committed or at least laughing through it.
- Follow us on instagram as we would post tips every day for the 30 days – We start on the 15th of July 2023 In sha’a Allah
- Join our whatsapp community (link below) to have cheerleaders and get solutions to real life daily struggles. I think it would be great to have people cheer your on and celebrate with you and encourage you as you go.
- Share this with your loved ones and your parenting tribe
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Join our private community dedicated to this challenge.
By participating in the 30-Day No Yelling Challenge, you’re joining a growing movement of parents dedicated to creating nurturing and respectful environments for their children. Together, we can redefine parenting norms, inspire others to embrace peaceful approaches, and raise a generation of emotionally secure and confident individuals.
Are you ready to take the leap? Join us in the 30-Day No Yelling Challenge and witness the positive impact it can have on your family dynamics. Together, let’s create a world where love, understanding, and peaceful communication shape the foundation of our parenting journeys.
Remember, the goal of the challenge is to create a more harmonious and respectful environment for your family. Even if you don’t succeed every day, the effort you put into minimizing yelling and improving communication will make a difference.
I firmly believe that empowering parents with knowledge and support is crucial for the holistic development of our children and the well-being of our families. Since becoming a parent, there has been so much learning and unlearning and relearning. Apparently, it is not like instant coffee, you do not just know what to do as soon as the baby is born.
Parenting is both rewarding and challenging. As we strive to provide the best opportunities and guidance for our children, we find ourselves grappling with the complexities of modern parenting. This is where parent education plays a vital role. It equips us with the necessary tools, strategies, and resources to navigate the journey of raising children and loving the process too. And for us working for this life and the next, it is a level deeper.
Parent education encompasses a wide range of topics, including child development, effective communication, positive discipline, mental health awareness, and then do not forget the spiritual development. It not only enhances our parenting skills but also fosters a stronger bond between parents and children and their Rabb. By investing in our own growth as parents, we create a nurturing environment that promotes the overall well-being and success of our children in both worlds.
Sadly, parent education is not yet normalized in our society. It is often overlooked or undervalued, leading to missed opportunities for personal and spiritual growth and the wholesome development of our children. However, we can change this narrative by collectively acknowledging the importance of parent education.
For some reason today, I was thinking of this ayah and a perspective that has stayed with me for a while…
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوٓاْ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلۡوَٰلِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَٰنًاۚ إِمَّا يَبۡلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلۡكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوۡ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفّٖ وَلَا تَنۡهَرۡهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوۡلٗا كَرِيمٗا | وَٱخۡفِضۡ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحۡمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرٗا
[Surah Al-Isrāʾ: 23-24]
For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honour your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them ˹even˺ ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully.And be humble with them out of mercy, and pray, “My Lord! Be merciful to them just like they raised me when I was young.”
And in the du’a it says Allah should have mercy on them just like they had mercy on you. And the onus is on the parents as well – however they treated you. And when you think about it, it is deep, especially for parents who just think they can do anyhow. So the responsibility is huge. It should not be something that we “wing.”
Let’s seek this knowledge. Let’s find supportive groups. Let’s initiate discussions with fellow parents, educators, and community leaders about the significance of tarbiyah. And let us be more open to learning.
May Allah help us raise our children. Amin!
Here are a few recommendations to get started…
First, follow us on instagram – our link in bio is updated with so many valuable resources regularly.
Join our free community here.
I do believe that books are underrated in terms of all the knowledge they provide.
My dear friend created a beautiful course that covers the basics of what to teach your child and how to bring islam to your child in a way that is age appropriate. Even if you are not a homeschooling mum, tarbiyah is your responsibility. You get lifetime access and a bonus gift.
The parenting toolbox was something I put together and it covers the foundational knowledge about the developmental needs of children based on their ages, the ways to encourage and motivate them based on their personalities, building good foundations with your parenting partner amidst the differences in your personalities and positive discipline 101 – 4 courses for the price of 1. A steal if you ask me.
I also started a thing called “parenting clinic.” have you ever felt like you needed to call a parenting hotline. Maybe you have taken a few courses, maybe you are planning to take a few more but you have a burning need, a parenting emergency or just to quickly check-in cos you are not okay or cannot commit to a 3 month or 6 week program and you just need to lighten your load, or maybe you don’t even know what you need but you just want to get started, then this is for you…use the code LAUNCH for 50% off.
And mama, you are not alone.
Ramadān is a special one for all of us. It’s a time when we focus on reflection, growth, being better, connecting with loved ones, working on our spirituality and it gives us a good idea of our potential. For Muslim mums, it can also be a time when we feel overwhelmed and stressed, especially when we’re trying to balance the demands of Ramadān with the needs of our children. Here, we will explore some tips on how to get through Ramadan without yelling at your children.
Tip #1: Practice Patience
One of the most important things to remember not just during the special month, but always is to practice patience. This can be especially challenging when there are children who are testing your limits. However, it’s important to remember that this is a time when we’re supposed to be working on our spiritual growth and development, and that includes developing our patience. When you feel yourself getting frustrated, take a deep breath and try to remain calm. Lean on the sunnah and go make wudhu.
Tip #2: Set Realistic Expectations
Another key thing is to set realistic expectations. This means recognizing that you may not be able to do everything you normally do during the day, and that’s okay. It’s important to prioritize your time and focus on what’s most important. This might mean letting go of some household chores or other activities that aren’t essential during this time. It also means picking your battles with the children. Not in the way of letting go of boundaries but everything does not have to be an emergency.
Tip #3: Take Care of Yourself
It’s easy to get caught up in taking care of others especially during Ramadān, plus it is ibadah but it’s important to remember to take care of yourself as well. This means making sure you’re getting enough rest, eating well, and taking time to recharge your batteries. When you take care of yourself, you’ll be better equipped to handle the challenges that come with parenting during Ramadān. Always factor in your breaks. You need them to stay mostly sane.
Tip #4: Be flexible
Life doesn’t always go according to plan any other month and especially during Ramadān. We all always feel like there is not enough of day to just do all the things. So try not to get too frustrated if things don’t turn out exactly how you envisioned them. Instead, focus on being flexible enough to adjust plans as needed while still keeping everyone safe and happy in the process!
Tip #5: Join a No-Yelling Challenge
Finally, we encourage you to join the no-yelling challenge. This can be a fun way to hold yourself accountable and try to reduce your yelling.
In conclusion, getting through Ramadan without yelling at your children can be challenging, but it’s definitely achievable. By trying out these simple tips, we can ensure that we remain calm and collected throughout Ramadān while teaching our children valuable lessons and modelling good behaviour along the way! With patience, understanding, flexibility – plus lots of love – we’ll make it through this blessed month together!
What other tips would you add to this? Can you go 30 days without yelling? Did you try the challenge? Do let us know in the comments.
Recently, We came across a gem of a book that I just had to share with you. The book is called “Allah Knows All About Me” by Learning roots, and it’s a delightful little compilation that will leave you with a smile on your face. I love books that have great language, use rhymes so the children catch on easily and teach something. This book combines all three and uses beautiful illustrations.
I especially love the rhyming text. It is catchy and fun to read out loud. The illustrations are colourful and cheerful, and what really sets this book apart is its message – It emphasizes that Allah knows all about every aspect of our lives. Allah ﷻ knows about us always. All ways.
So if you’re looking for a great book to read to your kids, or if you’re just looking for something to brighten your day, I highly recommend “Allah Knows All About Me” by Learning roots. You won’t be disappointed. It has become a favourite in our household. It is a heartwarming book that will leave your children feeling special and leave you feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside. It is important we teach children about our faith in a way that is accessible to them. As always, i am a champion for great books.
So tell me, have you read this book? Would you be adding to your wishlist? What other books are you loving and reading again and again?
Ramadan is a time for spiritual reflection, self-improvement, and increased worship. For most Muslims, this includes attending taraweeh prayers at the mosque. And for parents of young children, taraweeh can be a whole other ballgame. Trying to pray with a toddler in tow can feel like a Herculean task, with distractions aplenty and a constant battle to keep them quiet. In this post, we’ll take a humorous look at the five stages of grief parents may experience while attempting taraweeh with toddlers. So if you’ve ever found yourself chasing your little one around the prayer hall instead of focusing on your worship, this one’s for you.
- Denial: You’re excited for Taraweeh with your toddler. You want to raise them to be people who are connected to salah. You’ve got the snacks, the toys, and water, and everything else you need to keep them entertained for the next hour or so. You confidently walk into the mosque, feeling like a super mom. “This is going to be a piece of cake,” you tell yourself.
- Anger: Three minutes into the first rakah, your toddler starts getting antsy. They start kicking and chatting and pulling the hijab of others or climb the back of others in sujood, and you feel your blood boil. “Why can’t they just sit still?!” you think to yourself. You start to get angry at your toddler, at yourself, and at the entire situation.
- Bargaining: You start bargaining with your toddler. “If you sit still for just one more rakah, I’ll give you a whole bag of sweets” you plead. You remind them of boundaries set before but they don’t seem to remember. You try everything to get them to calm down and behave, but nothing seems to work.
- Depression: At this point, you’ve given up. You’re feeling defeated and depressed. You look around the mosque and see other parents with their well-behaved children, and you can’t help but feel like a failure. The glaring eyes dont make it any easier and you start to wonder if you’re a bad parent and if you’ll ever be able to enjoy Taraweeh again.
- Acceptance: Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Taraweeh ends. It is time for a deep breath of relief and you realize that you’ve made it through. You accept that Taraweeh with a toddler is just going to be difficult, and that’s okay. You smile and feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that you ALL survived.
Taraweeh with toddlers can sometimes feel like going through the five stages of grief. First comes denial, as you naively convince yourself that your little one will quietly sit through the lengthy prayers. Then comes anger, as your toddler decides to play peekaboo during the quietest parts of the night. Bargaining follows, as you try to bribe them with snacks and toys, only to have them throw a tantrum mid-rakah. Depression sets in as you realize you’re only on the second of eight or in some cases, twenty taraweeh raka’ats. And finally, acceptance, as you resign yourself to the fact that your taraweeh experience will involve chasing your child up and down the mosque. But hey, at least you’re burning some calories, right?
Just remember, you’re not alone. May Allah grant ease.
In the hadith about the those who will be under the shade of Allah on a day when there is no shade, two are most relevant here…
“A youth who grew up in the worship of Allah and one whose heart is attached to the mosques”
So this is the work.
And to whom it may concern, a reminder….
The Messenger ﷺ said, “Those who do not have mercy for our young and respect for our elders is not of us.” [Tirmidhi]