Nana’s Ramadān Story: Ramadān with children

Nana’s Ramadān Story: Ramadān with children

The month of Ramadān was fast approaching and Nana, like most other Muslim mothers, was filled with a mix of joy and anxiety about having her children home for the month of Ramadan.

She wanted to make sure that the month was filled with special moments and memories that her children would cherish forever. She knew that it was her responsibility to create a Ramadan experience that her children would enjoy while also teaching them something valuable about their faith. 

To do this, Nana created a Ramadan plan that included activities and traditions that both she and her children could enjoy. She planned books, some cooking activities, special evening sessions, and fun activities that allowed her children to explore their faith in interesting and creative ways.

Nana also made sure that her children were aware of the significance of Ramadan. She explained to them the importance of fasting and the impact it can have on developing a sense of empathy and understanding for those less fortunate. She employed books and stories for that. She told them stories of Ramadān from her childhood. She prayed with them and listened to them.

By the end of the month, Nana was filled with a sense of accomplishment. She had managed to create a meaningful Ramadan experience for her children that was both enjoyable and educational. She was also grateful for the opportunity to introduce her children to Ramadān in a way that allowed them to embrace it in its entirety. 

Nana’s story serves as an encouraging reminder to all Muslim mothers that it is possible to make Ramadan a special and meaningful experience for their children. With a little planning and creativity, it’s possible to make a lasting impact on your children’s understanding and appreciation of Ramadan.

Ramadān Prep: Setting up an Ibadah corner in your home

Ramadān Prep: Setting up an Ibadah corner in your home

Ramadān is a very special month for us. And I try to make it very significant in our home. It’s a time of reflection, prayer, and worship, and we are trying hard to create a spiritual environment in our home that helps us focus on our faith during this month.

One of the ways that we intend to do this is by setting up a Ramadān Ibadah corner in our home. This is a dedicated space where we can pray, read Quran, read books to the children, listen to the Qur’an together and engage in other acts of worship throughout the month.

Setting up an ibadah corner doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. In fact, it can be a fun and creative project that you can work on with your family. Here are some tips to help you get started:

  1. Find a dedicated space: Look for a space in your home where you can set up your ibadah corner. It could be a corner of your living room, a spare room, or even a nook in your bedroom. Choose a space that’s quiet, private, and free from distractions. Walls are great to be used as borders.
  2. Gather your supplies: You’ll need a few supplies to set up your ibadah corner, such as a prayer mat, Qur’an, tasbih, and a small table or shelf or small baskets, to hold your supplies.
  3. Decorate your space: Add some personal touches to your ibadah corner to make it feel more special. You could add candles, or even some fresh flowers to create a serene and calming environment. If you get into crafts with the children, can hang some of it on the wall. As the saying goes, less is more. Sometimes, just a whiff of incense does the trick. The purpose of this space is worship, so try to avoid pictures, electronic devices (unless used for Qur’an recitation), avoid stuff and clutter. Small baskets or low lying shelves can be used to hold needed items. For moms, designating a basket with stuff to keep younger children engaged during salah. Try to stay clear of items that make a sound so others are not distracted as a result.
  4. Use this space: It is so easy to do so much in terms of preparations but we now get too lazy to follow through. The adults remain the greatest models for the children. Once you’ve set up your ibadah corner, make sure you use it throughout the month. Try to spend some time in your corner every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Use this time to read Quran, pray, dhikr or engage in other acts of worship.

For us, setting up an ibadah corner has been a wonderful way to create a spiritual environment in our home and the children have loved seeing the space change. We moved things around to make the space Alhamdulillah. If you’re thinking about setting up an ibadah corner in your home, I highly recommend it. It’s a simple yet powerful way to create a space for prayer, reflection, and worship during this special month and for the family to connect as well. And maybe creating a physical space just might make it easier to make the time and create the space for these ibadah we so badly want to do. Do not be too focused on what you do not have, start with what you do have. May we always find Allah ﷻ sufficient for us.

May Allah ﷻ allow us to reach the blessed month and get the blessings of it. Amin!

Getting children excited about Ramadān: Introducing the blessed month

Getting children excited about Ramadān: Introducing the blessed month

Ramadān is a very special month, and as parents, we want to share the blessings and importance of this holy month with our children. How do we explain the concept of fasting, prayer, and charitable giving to young children? To be honest, you would think you understand something until you are trying to explain it to a young child. May Allah ﷻ guide us.

Start early: One of the best ways to introduce Ramadān to children is to start early. It is not until they reach an actionable age that we inform them. This will give children plenty of time to learn about the importance of fasting, prayer, and charitable giving. It also serves to help them understand the expectations or flow of things. Also, make it personal. Share your own experiences of what it was like when you were young and explain what this month means to you through stories. Be aware of traditions you want to keep and traditions you want to start to build on. It is also important to explain it in a way that children can understand as it is not very easy to grasp. Also, as much as possible, use simple terms. A good underrated way of achieving this is by reading books about ramadan. A few favourites are;

  • Hassan and Aneesa love Ramadan
  • Under the Ramadan Sky
  • Ramadan Moon
  • What is Ramadan by Goodword
  • Ramadan round the world
  • Hassan and Aneesa celebrate Eid
  • The month of Ramadan is here
  • It’s Ramadan Curious George

A few places to shop for books are The Dotted Pearl, Meena’s Muslimart, Hadiya NG.

Make it fun: Learning about Ramadān doesn’t have to be boring! You can make it fun and engaging for children by incorporating fun activities into the learning process. For example, you can organize a Ramadān-themed scavenger hunt, decorate the home with Ramadān decorations, and again, books. For younger children, could make special Ramadān crafts together, like creating our own Ramadan calendars and for older children, can make fun projects and presentations.

Encourage Questions: Children are naturally curious, and they may have a lot of questions about Ramadān as they have about everything. Encourage them to ask questions and provide honest and straightforward answers. If you don’t know the answer to a question, do some research together, and learn something new! Encourage your children to ask questions about Ramadān and their religion. Answer their questions honestly and openly.

Lead by Example: This is the crux of our roles as parents. The best way to teach children about the importance of Ramadān is to show them. Let them see you fast and pray and engage with the Qur’an and do what is right and keep aside what is wrong. Let them see you improve, change and be your best self for Ramadān. Let them see you give out of what Allah has provided you as well. And show them Mercy, teach them that the month is one of mercy in your being merciful to them. And seek knowledge. Know more, unlearn certain traditions, relearn the sunnah and revive it in your homes.

Introducing Ramadan to children is an important part of of our roles as parents, and hopefully, we can make it can make it a fun and engaging experience for all our children. And In sha Allah we can help our child develop a deeper understanding and appreciation of this pillar of our faith.

Nurture Reads: The Power Of Showing Up

Nurture Reads: The Power Of Showing Up

As parents, we want the best for our children. We want them to be happy, healthy, and successful in all aspects of life. But how do we ensure that they grow up to be well-adjusted and emotionally resilient adults? According to “The Power of Showing Up” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, the simple answer is in our showing up for our children.

The book emphasizes the importance of being present and attuned to our children’s needs. It argues that by showing up for our children, we can help them develop a strong sense of self-worth, build healthy relationships, and learn important life skills. The authors provide concrete examples and practical advice on how parents can show up for their children, even when it’s difficult or inconvenient. And more and more, this is our situation. Life is happening and we do not have the time to allow our children feel in a healthy way because we are seemingly on a time crunch always.

The book explores the role of parents in shaping the development of children. It focuses on the importance of “showing up” for your children and being present in their lives as a key factor in their emotional and psychological well-being. And these are very important for the complete wellbeing of our children. It also explores the science behind parenting and how the brain develops in response to experiences and relationships. It provides practical advice for parents on how to create a nurturing environment for their children and how to support their emotional and social development.

Dr. Siegel argues that parenting is not just about providing for children’s basic needs, but also about being there for them emotionally and helping them to develop a sense of self and connection to others. He emphasizes the importance of listening to children, being attuned to their emotions, and creating a safe and supportive environment for them to grow and learn.

Five tips from “The Power of Showing Up” that may be helpful for you to apply in your parenting.

  • Be present and attuned to your children: Make an effort to be fully present with your children when you’re with them, and pay attention to their emotional states. This helps to build trust and a sense of connection. And that sets such an important foundation for discipline and all the teaching that is the life of a parent.
  • Create a safe and supportive environment: Help your children feel safe and supported by providing a consistent, predictable environment that is free of criticism and judgment. And this safety is not only a physical one. It is emotional, and mental too.
  • Listen to your children: Take the time to listen to your children and really understand their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This helps them feel seen and valued. It allows them to believe that their voice matters. And that is such noteworthy empowerment. Listen, without judgement or prejudice. And sometimes you do not need to find solutions or advice in the moment.
  • Set limits and boundaries: While it’s important to be supportive and nurturing, it’s also important to set limits and boundaries to help your children learn self-control and develop a sense of responsibility. It also allows you to take care of yourself and have a life beyond your role as a mother.
  • Practice self-care: As a parent, it’s important to take care of yourself in order to be able to show up for your children. This includes taking time for self-care, seeking support when needed, and finding ways to manage stress. Everyone does better when they feel better including YOU.

I hope these tips are helpful! It’s important to remember that every family is different and what works for one family may not work for another. It’s a good idea to find what works best for your family and be open to adapting your parenting style as your children grow and change.

One of the things I appreciated about this book is that it’s based on the latest research in neuroscience and child development. The authors use this research to support their arguments and provide insights into why showing up is so important for children’s emotional and psychological well-being.

Another thing I appreciated is that the book is written in a relatable and accessible style. The authors use everyday language and the book is not heavily packed with science jargon, which makes the book easy to read and understand. They also provide plenty of examples and exercises that parents can use to apply the concepts in the book to their own lives.

“The Power of Showing Up” is thought-provoking and provides insightful look at parenting and the crucial role it plays in shaping the lives of children. I highly recommend “The Power of Showing Up” to any parent who wants to help their children thrive. The book is a great resource for parents who want to develop a deeper understanding of their children’s emotional needs and learn practical strategies for meeting those needs. It’s a powerful reminder that by showing up for our children, we can make a lasting difference in their lives and is that not what we all want.

Have your read it? Share your thoughts.

Is your toddler hitting?

Is your toddler hitting?

Toddlers look so cute. A combination of genes, the budding independence and confidence. I mean, they look you square in the eye and say “No” to anything you ask. They also have a no-so-cute side which includes aggressive behaviour like hitting and biting. This is a natural progression at this age and also a huge concern for many parents. No one likes being hit or bitten by a toddler. Then it is one thing to take it at home but then your child hits or bites another on the playground and you become so triggered. And sentences like, “I will not allow you to be a bully” start to form in your head.

Hold your horses! Your toddler is not a bully.

When you think about it, it is understandable. You probably feel frustrated at times. Like I got stopped twice by the VIO in one morning and I arrived my destination just upset. Or you have invited friends or family over and just as you put in the rice to boil, your cooking gas is finished. It is frustrating.

Imagine how much more difficult that is for a little one who is eager to explore the world, but unable to express their thoughts when they run into trouble.

You can ask others to respect your boundaries. Your child may think knocking a playmate over is the logical way to get their toy back. The other day at the playground, my son was on a swing and this other boy came by and started pushing the swing really fast, and he said “no” but the boy didn’t stop. I was making my way to them and I could still hear him saying “no” and just before I intervened, he hit him. He just needed his boundaries respected AND hitting is not appropriate behaviour.

We can teach our children that there are healthier ways to handle these situations.

Positive reinforcement and close supervision can help keep the peace and speed up the learning process. Here are some strategies for dealing with aggression in young children.

Preventing Aggression:

  1. Limit temptations: Some triggers are avoidable. Childproof your home by keeping fragile and dangerous items out of reach. Choose activities your child will find engaging. They probably like messy play more than they like eating out in a formal restaurant.
  2. Distract: Keep distractions on hand. Play games or sing songs if you need to lighten the mood.
  3. Your child is more likely to act out if they are tired: And unfortunately, they are not going to say, I am tired. Toddlers need 11 to 14 hours of sleep each day, which may mean one or two naps. A balanced diet and plenty of physical activity helps too.
  4. Talk about feelings. Help your child to understand their emotions and empathize with others and this you can do by modelling just that. How would you feel if someone just grabbed your phone while you were scrolling and wanted to play with it? Not happy for sure. So, step into their shoes.
  1. Rehearse responses. Practice what to do in various situations. That way your child will be more prepared for disagreements during play dates and long lines at the supermarket.
  2. Monitor media consumption. Movies and TV shows contain a lot of violence, and small children are especially impressionable.
  3. Be a role model. When you’re calm and peaceful, you teach your child to make smart choices too. They’re watching to see how you handle traffic jams and rough days at work.

Dealing with Aggression:

  1. Break it up. It’s often preferable to let children work out their differences themselves. However, there are times when you need to step in if emotions are too strong or someone may get injured. Safety is important for all involved.
  2. Go home. Public tantrums happen even when your parenting skills are top rate. However, removing your child from the situation can help them to calm down and until they are calm, you cannot teach.
  3. Model. You cannot ask them to not hit others and you hit them. It is conflicting information. Frequent spankings tend to undermine a child’s self-esteem (“It is bad to hit someone but my mummy/daddy hits me, so what is wrong with me that I deserve it?”)  and it also increases the chances they’ll use physical force themselves.
  4. Seek professional help. If your child or even you seem unusually violent and angry, speak to a professional. There may be something else going on.

And don’t forget to appreciate positive behaviour. No one likes it when they feel like everything they do is not right. Appreciate when they are responsible and kind including resolving differences with words and taking turns.

Most toddlers and preschoolers will naturally develop more self-control as they grow older. Until then, you can reduce aggressive behaviour by providing a loving home, consistent positive discipline, practicing peaceful alternatives to aggression, allowing space for conflict resolution and practicing non-violent communication.